We’ve entered into a time of waiting. Mom calls it “waiting to die.”
That’s not what she wants though. She wants to go quick, like “ASAP,” so we could move on with our lives. She feels guilty, thinking that her illness is holding us back from our daily lives, “where we’re supposed to be.”
(When I hear those words, my heart pangs.)
I try to reassure her.
“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” (Eccl 3:1) Some seasons are slow and painful, but they are necessary. Though they are inconvenient, or burdensome, they are still worthwhile. For example, an expectant mother during pregnancy: a mother must carry her child for 9 months and endure nausea, discomfort, and backaches, then encounter an even more painful labor and delivery.
But does any mother look at their newborn afterwards and say, “it wasn’t worth it” ? Whether we celebrate the birth of a child, or celebrate a birthday, we must embrace this season too.
The season of dying.
It may be painful Mom, but let’s embrace it together.
~ ~ ~
“The taller the bamboo grows, the lower it bends.”
Someone recently taught this Chinese proverb to me. When everything is quiet, the bamboo stands still and strong. Yet when fierce winds blow, it does not break or snap in half. The taller it has grown, the more flexible it is. It bends low, moving along with the winds, but remains firmly planted, able to withstand any storms.
Sometimes, Mom asks questions that I don’t know how to answer. I am speechless. Sometimes, Mom has episodes of severe pain and medicine doesn’t work. I am powerless. Sometimes, Mom bears an awful day of pain, vomiting, and insomnia. I am saddened.
May I diligently thirst for God as my living water, trusting in Him as nourishment.
May I rely on Him so that I may learn to be tall and strong as bamboo, bending low when the winds come…
because the storms may not be too afar off.