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  • The Only Thing I Left Behind

    "There were patients scattered amongst the trash; they were basically left here to die.  It was awful. It was one of the most horrible things I had seen," the co-founder of our NGO described to us her first impression of the hospital a few years ago, and how that first impression led her to begin her work there. 

    "When I saw this, I asked myself, 'how could I not do anything?'" 

    ~ ~ ~

    I dreaded this morning. Today was Continue reading

  • Goodbye is not the same as Abandonment

    Ba is almost always pleasant, courteous, thoughtful; rarely rude, never angry, never quick tempered.  (In Khmer culture, negative emotion is rarely expressed in public).  But he also never expresses his sadness, his sorrow, his regret.  Until yesterday.

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  • One hurdle after another

    Where has the time gone?  It's my last week in Cambodia and I've barely written about it!

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  • Useless and Disabled

    Early this morning, I could not open my right eye.  I looked in the mirror, and was horrified to find that my eye is completely swollen- extending from under my eyebrow all the way into my cheek.  We got some medicine at the pharmacy, but my eye hasn't improved at all today.  I'll probably visit a doctor tomorrow. *sigh. Why now? Of all times to get get sick!

    Not only am I on my "vacation" in another country, but this is a crucial time when Continue reading

  • Mourning / Moving On / Monkeys

    I felt reluctant about going to work today because I didn't want to receive bad news. But the inevitable happened.

    One of our patients died early morning.  Continue reading

  • We tried everything

    During our short trip here, we were asked to support the launch of a new unit in the hospital.  We had two hospital rooms, completely bare with absolutely nothing in them (not even beds).  Then suddenly, today, there were two very sick patients, who couldn't breathe, who needed to occupy those rooms. 

    So we moved them.  And ...they got sicker. 

    We tried.  We really did.   Continue reading

  • cambodia, week 1

    So much has happened in the last 7 days.. I don't know where to begin.

    learning the healthcare system; riding a tuk tuk to work (with lots of smog and dirt all up in my face); bargaining on anything and everything; teaching nursing students; Continue reading

  • Helplessness and Hope

    Yesterday was our first morning at the hospital.

    After an introduction to the NGO and meeting a dozen or so people who help make it run, we covered our faces with our protective masks and embarked towards the hospital ward.  First we visited the infectious unit.  Patients had just been discharged recently so the rooms were empty.  I was slightly surprised to see the conditions of the hospital rooms; a small room, a few feet wide, with a metal cot, and a thin table against the wall. That was it.  The doctor showed us how they keep infection out of the room by turning on a fan.  Basically the fan blows the infectious disease that patients cough up, and then blows it out the open window.  It seemed so basic, yet it totally does the job. 

    Then we met our first patient.  He lied there on the cot quietly, but when we began to assess him, pressing on his belly or on his legs, he began to wince and cry out in pain.  His concerned wife stood at the side, concern written on her face.  A handful of medical students swarmed us as we talked about the patient's condition.  His heart was beating pretty fast, and it saddened me that they didn't have the technology to attach him to any monitors so they could easily observe what his heart was doing. 

    We walked into the next room, to find another patient struggling to breathe.  He was wearing oxygen, but the oxygen mask was not fully inflated- I immediately adjusted the oxygen settings to help him to breathe.  His chest heaved inwards and outwards- he was really fighting... (to be contd)...

  • Progress, Poverty, Phnom Penh!

    As the plane descended below the cotton bed of clouds, I eagerly waited to admire the Khmer landscape.

    The plane dipped, and then, my eyes widened. Oh my! Cambodia how you've changed! 

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  • Ingrain it in my heart

    The day before yesterday...

    "I just wanted to tell you...you are so great and attentive.  All the nursing staff here is really wonderful and I am so thankful for you and the other nurses. This really is a magical place. Thank you so much for taking care of my mom." 


    (When I heard that, I wanted to cry tears of joy...) Continue reading