June 23, 2012
An excerpt, from my paper journal, that I shared at Mom’s memorial service.
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I have been wrestling with the concept of death.
I have been struggling with how life is finite, how it stops and ends there, at death. How it’s permanent, how it leaves you with this void, an emptiness that never fills again. The place in my heart previously filled by Mom and all her wisdom, tenderness, words of affirmation, caring gestures and thoughtful gifts; her stories and memories… that place will be quiet, once she is gone.
During a walk the other day, a strong gust of wind blew right before me, whisking the petals right off blooming flowers of nearby trees. The wind, seemingly invisible, suddenly became very noticeable, beautifully entrapping white petals and green leaves in its arms, swirling around and around, dancing before me like a Viennese waltz.
Those flowers on the trees, they bloom once then fade away. The leaves overcome them and the petals fall to the ground. But those winds carried them in every direction in front and behind me.
It was then that I realized, though the wind cannot be seen, it is very real. Though the petals may fall, they still dance. Though death may come, Mom’s spirit will arise, departing for the Kingdom of Heaven to be with God. Her stories, her memories will be like beautiful flowers waltzing in the wind, accompanying me wherever I go.
Knowing that God is the ultimate Healer and life giver, gives me great peace. Ecclesiastes, chapter 3 says, “to everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” In this season, we mourn the loss of Mom’s life, but for her, death is the end of her suffering, and the beginning of eternity with our all powerful, loving God.
So I pray that this is my comfort and peace, that during our time of grief, I may be firmly rooted in the knowledge of God who is our living Hope.