There must be a special kind of connection amongst us, from person to person, that intertwines our appetite for food and our appetite for life.  The food we gather, share, and devour triggers the outpouring of our memories, both haunting and humorous, harrowing and humbling.  So many of my family’s stories are dished out only in the kitchen, at the stove or upon the table, and only at designated hours: breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  Some of them I swallow, others I digest, and others I remember only faintly.  

At that very moment, when our stomachs grumble with hunger… is when my parents or elder relatives slip into nostalgia.  And their hearts become ajar.  

~  ~ ~ 

A feast of raw beef topped with an uncooked egg, baskets full of fresh vegetables, and a plate of rice noodles awaited us as the flat iron grill began to heat up.  Being Thanksgiving, my cousins did not forget the turkey, and they brought it out hot from the oven, steam rising from the tin foil serving platter.  Rather than the usual breadcrumb stuffing, it was stuffed with ginger, lemongrass, and other Southeast Asian herbs, of course.  Continue reading →

“…let me be something every minute of every hour of my life.

Let me be gay; let me be sad.

Let me be cold; let me be warm.

Let me be hungry…have too much to eat.

Let me be ragged or well dressed.

Let me be sincere – be deceitful.

Let me be truthful; let me be a liar.

Let me be honorable and let me sin.

Only let me be something every blessed minute.

And when I sleep, let me dream all the time

so that not one little piece of living is ever lost.” 

- Betty Smith (A Tree Grows in Brooklyn)

“My mother…. is dying…?” she said aloud.  As if she needed to hear herself utter those very words.

But she couldn’t accept it.  She turned and looked at me.  “My mother…. is dying??” Continue reading →

Her arms were flailing up and down, and her family tried to hold her down, so she wouldn’t fall out of bed.  “Om,” (“auntie,” an endearing title given to someone who is older than one’s parents) had black hair with silver streaks. She looked like she was in her 60′s. 

When I saw her, I knew right away that she was delirious because her brain was oxygen hungry.  She needed oxygen even more than the sick patient in the next room.  I immediately ran out, Continue reading →

My thoughts have been lingering over one particular memory during our Cambodia trip.  At the time, I was overwhelmed, and kept most of it to myself.  But it’s all coming back to me now…

~ ~ ~

Have you ever dreaded a day so much, that when the day finally arrived, you wanted to run home and hide? 

That’s how I felt, day 1. Our “grand opening”.  Of the ICU.

Usually, a grand opening implies an event to be “grand,” elaborate, or some sorta special.  Except it was none of those things.  Continue reading →

It was getting late.  And when you’re in the countryside, where there is no electricity, no paved roads, AND there are landmines, it’s not exactly a good idea to be driving around unfamiliar territory.

“Please, you must come see this patient,” one of the village health leaders begged us.  “He is really sick.  I know it’s late, but if you come see him, it will encourage him.  He will feel like somebody actually wants him to get better.”  Continue reading →

In the Khmer countryside, villagers are too sick or too poor to seek medical help, so community health leaders travel out to meet them where they are.  During our visit to Svay Rieng, one of the local doctors brought us with him to visit patients in their homes. 

The first home we visited was Continue reading →

The World Bank defines extreme poverty as living on less than USD $1.25 per day.

According to the UN, 1 in 3 Cambodians live on less than $.60 a day.  (But what does that MEAN? How do I even begin to grasp, comprehend, or contextualize that?)

I would eventually find out.  In person. Continue reading →

Returned from Asia last night (and I’m competely exhausted).  It’s only been 24 hours, but I already miss Asia…

(in cambodia) the sight of nourishing coconut, palm, and banana trees scattered across fertile plains.  abruptly stopping the car because of oxen/buffalo/cows/chickens crossing the road.  waking up to a rooster crowing at sunrise.  Continue reading →